Oftentimes children are told bedtime stories about kings who bravely fought against the forces of evil. While other leaders were honored with statues and temples, King Midas of Phrygia is renowned for his folly. Known as a rogue ruler, his antics amused his people and distracted the gods.

Midas spent his days in a stupor of splendor, spoiling himself and the apple of his eye – his daughter, and gorging down on lavish meals. It was no surprise he looked up to Dionysus – the god of wine, carnival, and performance.

One day, Midas discovered a satyr – a perfect opportunity to win over Dionysus. He was dozing in his rose garden and drunk on more than the scent of flowers. He took in the wasted satyr, and let him nurse his hangover. Pleased with the king’s hospitality, Dionysus offered to grant him a wish. Midas cast a greedy eye over his surroundings. His luxurious lifestyle did not seem to suffice, no matter how many fine jewels, silk, and gorgeous decor he had. Life lacked luster, he thought; he needed more gold in his life.

Midas was gifted with the ability to turn anything he touched into gold. Like a child in a sweet shop, Midas ran towards his palace walls – lo behold, it indeed turned into sparkling gold. At his lightest touch, stone statues shone, and goblet glittered. With wild abandon, he galloped through his home, handling everything until it was polished to a lustrous finish. Soon the palace glistened with his golden touch, and Midas delirious laughter echoed off the walls.

Exhausted after a long day of work, Midas picked up a bunch of grapes from his newly gilded fruit bowl. He almost shattered his teeth as the fruit had turned to metal in his mouth. When he picked up a loaf of bread, the crumbs hardened in his hand. Flinging himself onto his bed in frustration, Midas discovered his plush pillows had morphed into solid gold. “What is happening?!”

Hearing his cries of frustration, his daughter entered the room. Upon reaching out to her, Midas saw with horror that he had frozen her into a golden statue. He let out a cry of despair – his daughter, the most precious to him, was gone?

Midas begged the gods to take his power away for fear of the consequences of what he had done. Dionysus, taking pity on the foolish king, told Midas to wash his hands in the River Pactolus.

Traveling over snow-capped mountains, and rough terrains Midas finally reached the river. Gold oozed from Midas’ fingertips as he reached into the river. Midas returned to his palace and rejoiced to see his daughter safe and sound. That’s how the phrase ‘Midas’s touch’ came to be.

You’d think he would have mended his ways – but, oh boy. Midas was incorrigible – he never learned from his mistakes. Just a few weeks after, he made a Himalayan blunder, insulting the music and sun god Apollo when he declared Pan a greater musician.

Apollo scornfully declared that the king must have the ears of an ass to make such a misjudgment, and transformed Midas accordingly. The foolish king nearly had a heart attack upon seeing his ass ears and begged the god to reverse the curse. Apollo simply refused and rode away.

Once again regretting his behavior, Midas kept his hairy ears hidden in public. They were seen only by his barber, who was sworn to secrecy during a very awkward grooming session. Can you imagine? The barber stifled his laughter and fought the urge to tell someone, yet the secret consumed him.

When he couldn’t take any more, he walked outside the city and dug a hole in the ground. Plunging his head into the earth, the desperate barber whispered, “Midas has ass’s ears.” He was relieved.

Days passed, and a clump of reeds sprang up in the spot where the barber buried his secret. When the wind blew, they carried the echoes of his whisper through the breeze: “Midas has ass’s ears.” Donkeys rose their heads in recognition, and people chuckled at the antics of their king. From that day onwards, Midas was called the king with ass’s ears.

With his golden touch and ass’s ears, King Midas wasn’t the most respected ruler. While other leaders had statues and temples built in their honor, his people remembered him a little differently: in the depths of the glittering river and the rustle of the Phrygian wind. Thank you!